do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
