Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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