So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
