her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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