It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
did i just pee glitter
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
