I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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