Sry I called you an 8
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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