i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
