Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
