he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
