Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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