she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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