so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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