Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
