Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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