If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize