can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
