So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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