he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We need to get me chipped asap
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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