dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
