I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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