What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
