this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
