I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
