I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
