is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
