used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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