Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
