No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
this is an emotional support booty call
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
