Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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