i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
