I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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