i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
