That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
