we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Someone came in the potted fern
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
