is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
