great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
