hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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