I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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