Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Come see our sink grown plant.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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