Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
