I want to stick my p in your. b.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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