Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
