We're like a lot better than the average bears
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
