the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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