just tell him i said nine months
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
