Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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