i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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