I saw his package. It spoke to me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
this boner is exhausting
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
