isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
