It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
